Sometimes I feel as if my views are the minority any more. When I was younger, you know, I used to get politics mixed up with religion. It's the way my parents did things. So of course I immediatly assumed that if you were a conservative, you were a Christian and vice versa. Of course I have learned to differentiate between the two, but now I feel so lost when it comes to politics that I cannot keep up.

Personally, I think that if you look throughout history, kingdoms and systems rise and fall every few hundred years, and America isn't going to be the republic and democracy it's always been...In fact, I believe we are going to change so radically we are no longer going to recognize our government in a while. I don't know how long, I don't even know what exactly it will look like (I have ideas, but I'll keep those to myself). I am not afraid of it, but I think people need to at least be aware.

Up until a few days ago I watched the news pretty regularly, but now I cannot bring myself to watch for a number of reasons.

#1 - We say "be informed..." Well, be informed of what? I watch/read the news, and I am reading what media wants me to know. Plain and simple. I have a few (not many, mind you, but a few) friends in other countries where political craziness has happened in the last few years who have shared information the news either hasn't be able to covered, or has glossed over with sugar. Not merely that, but we all know there is bias in news media. Oh, but it isn't merely news media - movies, television, music - all riddled with messages that hint ever so slightly (sometimes blatantly) as a bashing against another way of thinking.

#2 - Everything is bad news. Sure, there are human interest pieces every now and then. We hear of that CEO who gave up his bonus to keep employees working for him, or people who start good causes in their communities. But top stories involve sex scandles, murder, embezzlement, job loss, etc...

#3 - It is discouraging. I've noticed that when I watch the news I literally have signs and symptoms of depression. I want to sleep all the time, I have sad feelings and decreased moral.

Of course just because I am determining not to read and watch the news doesn't mean that I am not in the general know. I am up to speed on local news in my community, and when something big happens in the "world," of course I am going to know. I do watch the news in the morning before I leave work, but it's Fox and Friends on Fox News station in the AM, and it isn't quite set up in "news" format.

I am far from "uninvolved" though. I read policies and am aware of issues. I just will not watch/read the "news" news anymore. I won't do it.

I've noticed a lot of people have been letting their faith take a hit lately. This saddens me. You know, Jesus has always been the same. It's our world that changes. God's grace and mercy is riddled throughout the Earth, but I know that the Lord is returning. His time isn't like ours, so my "soon" could be three hundred years to him. What does it matter to me? My life is so short anyway compared with history. I am so happy to be a unique creation of God, and I try to share that with people around me. We are all these fascinating and unique creations. And that is really saying something - to say that each and every one of the approx 6 billion people in this world is a "unique creation." I mean - wow. I value life. I am not an eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth person. I want to know God more. I want to know Jesus more. I want everything that comes from that deeper relationship with Jesus Christ more - love, peace, security, joy, patience, long-suffering, prosperity in life (not merely money), grace....Nothing else fills it. God's word fills it. Scripture fills it. I think an issue is that we try to fill "it," the void, the pain and empty, with everything that makes people "happy." It does the job - for a while. I'm one who has finally come full circle and just want to know Jesus more. I hope and trust that there are other like me in this area. We just want to know Jesus. There is so much more to the faith that church services on Sunday morning. Gah, don't get me wrong, I love Sunday church - but I believe that the body needs more than a bit of scripture to get us going. We need to understand and be taught on a regular basis the foundation of our faith. It is so rich in tradition and history, and the scripture as we know it in it's English translation is so much more rich and powerful than we give it credit for. Maybe we're more worried about the news and what's going on around us to think about what's in us and sustaining us? Just a thought.

I gotta go! Stuff to do today, work tonight. Keep praying. Keep our president daily in your prayers, as well as this country.

Oh yeah, and pray for Bri and I as we are still apartment hunting (but found a cute little town home we are thinking about renting!) Blessings! xoxo

I am engaged now. Brian proposed marriage to me last night. We were both extremely unromantic, so I knew that it was coming, and he knew that I knew...*sigh*

We'd actually been arguing about it. He told me last year that it was his intention to propose to me before Christmas, and then that came and went and I remember feeling slighted. Then he told me, (don't ask why), "Michelle, before the 19th I plan on asking you...be prepared! haha!" The 19th came and went and by this time, I was beginning to feel annoyed. I was beginning to feel like he didn't have his ducks in a row, etcetc. In reality, Brian is big on plans. He is HUGE on planning everything. Almost to a fault. I have to remind him, "Sweetie, we need to trust God."

So anyway, when things don't happen according to his plans, he feels knocked back a bit. He planned to go to NYC, and the both of us do fun and fancy things together. Well...It would have been a great idea. Except we'd be at a train stating in NYC until about 3 in the morning and then have to switch trains again in Philadelphia on the way home -NOT my idea of a relaxing, romantic Sunday. In addition, I have to work tonight. It was too much to cram into a short period of time. So we nixed NYC and decided to stay here in Chester County. We ended up going to Barnes and Nobel, where we proceeded to have an argument about something that happened a few years ago, and then we got to the restaurant and we cooled down. We were the only two people there. We got a table in front of the fire place. We drank wine and had fancy foods and he proposed over crem brulet cheesecake. Altogether a yummy experience that characterizes our relationship to a "T."

Brian and I argue over the simplest things on a regular basis. Mostly it is because, I'll admit it, I am a moody person, and I am headstrong. I am not proud of that, but it's true and it starts tiffs with people at times. I am also a very loving person and as quickly as my moods come, they go. I am not judgmental, but I say things out of hurt at times. Such was our argument last night. Brian knows this about me, but he is ALWAYS very loving. Brian is my Mr. Darcy. He is straight as an arrow in the things that he does. He is intelligent, and I am sure to those who do not know him too well, he comes off as extremely serious and preoccupied. He is not rich, but he does invest his money, and he is hardworking. We came to love each other through our circumstances. We were thrown together in our work at school and out of that work a bond of friendship was formed. Out of our friendship, love came about. He would do anything for me. He HAS done everything for me.  I love his personality, I love his way of thinking. I mean, there are things I don't love about him...His overplanning, his forgetfulness about certain things....but hey, am I perfect? ;o) He and I share a lot of desires though. We both want to travel to the same places and live in the same countries. We love the outdoors and being physically active. We love Jesus.

He is my best friend, and has been basically since the day we met. I knew the day we met that we would be good friends. Married? I didn't get that right away...but it didn't take too long either!

We're an odd couple. I am 5'8 and and he is 5'6...He has dark, curly Antonio Bandares hair  and dark eyes and I have dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He's got a permanent tan, and I have to work on mine every summer. Why? Well, he's Spanish and I'm Austrian. :o) For those who haven't seen him, he is actually very handsome. An aquaintance of mine at ORU came up to me one time in the dorms and said, "I have to tell you, I love that you guys are together. The tall girl and the shorter guy. You look like the couples I saw in Spain where all these tall women were with short men!" um, thank you? He is straight faced, and laugh and smile often.

Point being, we are two individuals who found love. i am scared out of my mind to embark on this new level of our relationship. Why? Because it's so permanent. He will be my husband and I will be his wife forever. Can't say I despise that idea, but it is something that will never change as long as we live. Can I handle that? Can he? :o) Well, the awesome thing about love is that it is way more than feelings. I have feelings of love for Brian, but if that was all that was there, a marriage could never work. Nope. We've both sacrificed for each other, have made each other cry, lifted each other up. He's been here for me and I've been here for him. I want to be there for him forever. I want to be everything for him that God had set out woman to be for a man. We want a family. We want life together is pretty much the bottom line.

Keep us in your prayers as we get ready to embark on this journey together. I'll keep ya'll posted when we decide the day. For certain the wedding will be near my home in Pennsylvania. Well, unless a miracle happens and I can get married in Disney World. heehee

xoxo