I finally made my appointment at the OB doc for January 13th, so...yay!

I wasn't sure what to call for - What I mean is that, I have never been pregnant before, and I will get stoned to death by health care professionals for confessing to what I am about to confess to - but I have also never had a GYN exam. Never. OK, it's out! Doctors used to "recommend" that you get your first pap when you are either 18 or sexually active. Now I believe they say something like 21 or sexually active, whichever comes first.

Well.

When I hit 18, all I did was move around from state to state doing various jobs and attending various schools. Of course this does not mean I couldn't have gotten myself examined, but it is only to say that it never seemed important.

My family does not have a history of anything (well, high blood pressure, but my BP is great), and I was never sexually active until I got married - and I got married to a man with no family history of disease who also was a virgin when we got married. Rare these days, I know!

PLUS, I grew up in a medical household, and it is notorious that people who are medical people are always the most resisting to get check ups. All that is to preface my experience I am going to type out here.

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Never having called a Women's Health office before, I wasn't sure what to ask for. Should I say that I wanted to interview doctors? Should I say I want a blood test?

I called in, and told the receptionist that I was looking for an OB doctor. I said that I had a positive pregnancy test (three, to be exact) and would like to have a blood test. She took information - Name, date of last period (to figure out how far along I am) and patched me back to speak with a nurse. The nurse was not there, so I had to leave a message. WELL, the nurse called me back and told me that I actually do not NEED to have a blood test done, because the urine test will suffice. They treat blood and urine results the same. Regardless, I need to come in at 8-10 weeks for a full history and physical (january 13th). I let them know that I myself am a nurse - not because I am a wealth of knowledge on maternal/child health issues (I am not, though I do know a few things), but because I want my health care people to cut to the chase with me. Don't lecture me on how certain vitamins are water soluble and some are fat (soluble). As a nurse, I have a working knowledge of the normal human body (again, to an extent, but I have one!). I can understand technicalities, and I want my OB doc and nurses to understand that and talk with me as such. I am pretty good with asking questions about what I do not understand.

Anyway

I like the place I will be going to. It is called "all about women" and from what I can gather, all the OB's and nurses there are female. This is a major asset to me. I much prefer women handling my pregnant body than a man. I appreciate male doctors and nurses, but when it comes to my reproductive system - an OB male doc may know HOW the plumbing works, but he himself has never had to work with it. He can tell me that I will have morning sickness, that at around 6 weeks my baby will have a perceivable heartbeat, that my breasts will change, and whatever else, but he will never, ever have a baby inside his body. He will never go through the physiologic changes he is telling me about, he will never have to deal with the psychological issues a woman does of being a mother. He has male perspective. Working knowledge, but male perspective. It is for these reasons, not merely modesty (but that is a factor as well) that I much prefer a woman working with me and delivering my baby.

MY baby...wow. I suppose since a urine test is as good as a blood test, I can tell a few more people (we haven't told Brian's parents yet). I told mine, because I told my mother before I took the tests that I was thinking I might be. So my mother and father know, as well and brother and sister....Also my two closest friends know...and whoever reads this blog, though not many people I know read this anymore, which is why it feels so safe to post things on here.

Its soooooo soon though....I am skeptical about telling too many people too soon. Surely that is understandable. I am not mentioning a word about this to anybody I work with until it gets later in the pregnancy.

OK, I need to bake some cookies and send out some packages before I sleep and go to work tonight.

Keep me in your prayers!

I really, truly miss Iceland - and since I am online, what better place to post my woes than on my blog? Its been a few months now, but there is something about that place that makes it my favorite place in the whole world. Other than my home in the good ol' U.S. of A, there is no other place I would rather be. Traveling in general is integral to my existence.

The innate desire to travel is in and of itself, not all that uncommon to man's nature. I believe that for the most part, people have a wanting to see new places, meet new people, and try new things. My sister, being quite the homebody herself, has a traveling bug. Once one can get her out of the house and on the road, she welcomes the adventure. Of course she is happy to be home again, but the point is that even homebodies crave some type of adventure. For a fictional parallel I point you to Tolkien's famed Hobbits. A curious race who do not desire adventures - yet once Samwise, Merry, Pippin and Frodo took the road less traveled straight into peril itself, they longed for it, didn't they?

Traveling embodies adventure for many. It's one reason why I love airports. I travel more than most people I know, and airplanes excite me to no end - even if I am only flying from Pennsylvania to Texas, or to Oklahoma, or even someplace else relatively local. It's a thrill.

No, the uncommon thread in my life is that I cannot imagine myself in one place. I believe this is something that makes me different than many people. It is part of the reason Brian and I live in an apartment and are not buying a house any time soon. Part of me wishes we were, as this is now a buyers market, but I cannot bring myself to do it. Oh, I look at houses, yes, but only because I imagine what could be. In reality, my life feels rather nomadic. There is not one place I feel comfortable spending the rest of my life, and this is both exciting, and it frightens me as well.

You know, God puts desires in our hearts for a reason. I am like everyone else in the sense that I love to travel and get a "buzz" from adventure. Heck, if the situation is appropriate, I don't even mind being a tourist. How I feel different is that I can't imagine settling in one spot. I love my hometown here in Pennsylvania, but I cannot stay here forever. When I was in high school I had the "NEED TO LEAVE" bug, and I did. Like most college age kids, I left the nest, stopping only for visits. I have two of age siblings. My older brother is very much a "make my own way" type of guy. He left for college, and never came back to PA, but he made his home where he had to, and it was HIS. I left the nest, but am much closer to home for practical purposes. My sister, as aforementioned, is the homebody. She is going to community college in the Spring (perhaps the wisest of the three of us), and staying at home.

I blame the travel bug on my mother. She was rather nomadic in her own life, until finally settling in Pennsylvania, several states away from any family or relatives of any kind. I am a lot like my mother. Have I mentioned that before? We both have an affinity to music of all kinds (though personal preference does reign), we have very similar senses of humor, and we both are into athletics (though she loves the baseball and softball, and I am quite talented at lacrosse...at least I was - haven't played in a game for about 3 years). We have the same moody temperment, but we do bring others joy

So this desire to travel - rather, to not stay in one place more than a few years - I must beseech God - why? Why don't I have the desire to settle someplace? Even if I moved to some dream location and settled down, there would be a large part of me wanting, unsatisfied.

The only thing that troubles me about this is that I want a big family. I want lots of kids - the crazy part? I cannot see myself having the truckload I want, in all honesty. I want lots of kids, but I think God has other plans. Kids, yes - how many? I know not. Brian and I discuss this, but we are still just as confused as we were starting out.

Going to Iceland was one of the single most thrilling events of my life. We went there not knowing anybody, not even knowing anybody who has ever been there, but we got a car and just WENT. I absolutely love Iceland. I love the bloody and crazy history, I love the rich culture, I love the preservation of a language nearly a millennium of years old and counting, I love the landscape, I love the people. Iceland is in my future somehow, and I intend to find out. But it's not THE end. not at all. It is a chapter, as is my time now - no matter how long I am here. How wonderfully exciting.

I don't expect that anybody has read those previous paragraphs. It is quite alright. After all, what is a blog or "journal" other than ones inmost thoughts on various subjects? :) For some strange reason, I have a difficult time actually WRITING in a journal. I wish I didn't. I see all those pretty, leather bound journals in the bookstore and wise I could write my volumes, but alas, my memories will be saved on a memory stick, accessible only through access to a computer of sorts. ha. How times have changed over the years!

Christmas shopping still in full swing, I expect that I will hit the shops again over the next few weeks. I need to put gas in my car, and pay school loans (yay!...I mean...yay?)

Thank you God, for my health. Thank you for my family, my husband, my life. Thank you for my job where I work and make money and am able to be with people when they are so vulnerable and to care for them. Thank you that I have $$ to give, to spend, and to take care of all my needs. Thank you for cars that are functional and the clothing on my back and in my closet. Thank you for the fun things in life. Thank you for your Word, which IS life and peace and food for my soul. Thank you for wisdom and discernment (may I have more!). Thanks that even when I don't know or understand, you ARE God. You ARE who You say You are, no matter what I believe or may be thinking at the time. Thank you for my country, guide the president and those who make the laws and vote on them. Give them all wisdom. God, you are a good God, and I just thank you for everything. In Jesus' name I pray and thank you - amen.
:)

willing to come back to Xanga. It's always been that place I can go to blog about whatever. Besides, Facebook was getting to be a little too much for me!

You know, it is interesting. People will use Facebook as a way to network, and that is wonderful and great and everything, however, there are people (such as myself) who have a Facebook and are friends with hundreds (some, thousands) of people - but how many of them do you KNOW? Who is one TRULY keeping contact with, except to say "Oh, I saw that movie and it was good!" or post status updates such as "Drinking coffee - headed to work in an hour." I mean, you can know what somebody you once knew 5 years ago is doing in five minutes without having real heart to heart.

OK, so you get information; you find out that Sally has had her baby - but if Sally is not your friend that you see every now and then or talk with on a regular basis, what good is that knowledge? Good gossip in the event that you happen upon a friend who also knows Sally from long ago and doesn't know she had a baby? Translation - knowledge outside of context or relationship is empty trivia and doesn't serve much of a purpose.

For some, this is OK, for me, it's mostly depressing and a reason why I want to give up the facebook. I have numbers, and I have addresses of my friends - people such as myself do not need Facebook accounts any longer because they serve more as time wasters than anything else. Don't misunderstand me - the creators of Facebook made a great program, but I have grown tired of it.

Xanga is different. Even though a lot of people I know no longer frequent this site, it has always served me as a cathartic output. Then there is the added appeal that somebody I know, or somebody I don't know may happen upon it and we become friends. I met one of my now bestest friends through having a Xanga. I think that's pretty wonderful! Would have never have met otherwise, because we live in different states, but that is one of the blessings the internet has brought me. A friend that I can confide in like a sibling. Pretty cool, eh?

SO...new news? Well, we passed the "married" part already. I am very happily married to seriously one of the greatest guys in the world (Im convinced!).

We live in Reading, Pennsylvania (not the main portion of the city, but outside). We moved out here to live closer to work (we were commuting from about 50 minutes away, Coatesville and Honeybrook respectively, now a 15 minute drive to the hospital). We've both been nurses for about a year now - both got out licenses on the exact same day. haha. I am on a stroke/medsurg unit, and Brian is on a joint replacement/medsurg unit. We like it OK, but are eager to keep moving on in life.

I want to go back to school, but not necessarily for nursing. I want to go back and get a second degree in either Petroleum engineering or something related (trust me, this is not an easy decision!). Earth Sciences have always been my favorite hobby, and math, chemistry and biology my best and most interesting subjects. I wonder sometimes if I am too old for more school and a career choice such as this, but if it is God's will, it will happen, I know it! Brian wants to own a gun shop (he is the most knowledgeable person about firearms that I have even known). He respects the equipment, and is very safe. He enjoys shooting, that's all. It's his hobby. I support it and love him for it! Needless to say, we are second amendment conservatives. heehee.

Keep us in your prayers. We both are working (hallelujah!), but are still paying off bills and school loans like everyone else in society. heehee. I don't mind, it's a good feeling to know that God supplies all of our needs. (and He has been!)

I have more to write, but need to make it to the book store before it closes! xoxo